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Romans 8:28 KJV
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

I contemplated waiting to write this because I wanted it to end with good news…but let me obedient.

One of the hardest prayers for me to force myself to pray is Lord let your will, not mine, be done. Because there is a possibility what I want and what God requires of me will be two totally different things. And unlike some super saints, I struggle with following directions sometimes. I don’t mean to be disobedient but it comes down to me giving up the control I want to have and allowing God to move me where I need to be (Pray for me…God is definitely working in me)!

I have something that I want God to do for me. And I’m growing impatient with waiting. I’m pretty sure God is laughing at me because I told him what I wanted. I realize my first mistake was that I didn’t seek God first.  I didn’t seek him in the sense of asking him if this was the right move for me. Instead I asked him to move after I made it clear this was something I wanted. I think we often believe we are on the same page with God because we have a working, developing and deep relationship with him. He wants me to have what I want, right? I pray, I tithe, I work behind the scenes on some special events at church, I try to live so that he is exalted. So that means God and I are pretty clear on what I want…right?

Well it doesn’t quite work like that.

There is comfort in my plans for myself. I know what I want, I know the direction I need to move. I know what I need to do to get there. It seems easier.  But the plans God has for me often seem radical. It will require me to move out of my comfort zone. It will require me to exercise a level of faith I didn’t know I possessed. It’s easy to read scriptures about faith and to sing songs about my faith but it’s another story when it comes time to actually practice this faith. Hence the fear in asking that God’s will trump my plans.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

In Jeremiah 29: 11, I am reminded that I am not out here winging it on my own. Instead, God has assured me he knows what he’s doing concerning me. He has plans for my prosperity, not my downfall. He has plans concerning my future. And nowhere in there did he ask me what it was that I wanted. My life has been purposed for something greater than me. I have to be open to be the vessel he needs. So that control I am so desperately trying to hold on to, I can let it go. That need to make decisions based on what I want, I can let it go. God is not leading me down a path where he has not already paved the way for me to walk.

So despite the answer I may receive, I am boldly declaring Lord, let your will and not mine, be done. And I’m either going to prepare my feet to move towards where he declares I should be or I’m going to stay where I am and change my perception.  In the end, I know that wherever God leads me, it will be for my good but more for his glory.

~Jenn

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