I’m one of those people that likes to find meaning in everything.  I guess you can call it a coping mechanism. I’m also one of those people that loves a good quote. Because sometimes, they just fit. And sometimes they don’t.

More than a few times, I’ve said “If I knew then what I know now…” to accept the hurt. To make sense of something. Because if only I knew how the situation would end, I could have saved myself a whoooooooole lot of unnecessary heartache and disappointment. How much simpler could my life have been if I avoided ALL the hurt and pain?

Well…I would be hurt free but who would I be? Whether people want to believe it or not, hurt is a life shaper. Heartbreak makes for some great therapeutic poetry.  Crying can be cleansing. And in some instances, admitting I’ve been a fool is necessary.

Every failed relationship, every naïve moment, every midnight cry made me who I am.  I had to go through to become me. When I really think about it, without my past I would be…stuck. I wouldn’t have learned much about life, love and resilience. I wouldn’t have known what I wanted or needed. I just wouldn’t be the semi-wise, ever evolving, and growing woman that I am today.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when hindsight is 20/20. Times when i did’t have to go through. Bought sense isn’t always better than borrowed. I could have saved a few coins because I knew better. But even so…I still have to learn from my mistakes.

If I knew then what I know now…I would have missed so many opportunities to learn. Knowing the end before the beginning would have been a cop out. The easy route. I truly believe if I would have known then, what I know now, I’d be a much different person. Not necessarily for the better either.  And I’ve come to realize there is nothing for me to gain through avoidance but there is definitely a lesson in the go through.

Jenn

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